The past several weeks have been some of the most life-giving times of my life. Perhaps “wilderness” is the best way to describe my life overall in the past several years. I have been immersed in a life-time of learning and making mistakes. I am constantly being reminded that it is not about men but rather it is about love and community. Thank God I have JSC to continue my journey in this holy wilderness of life.
I should introduce the context in which my life is set. I am a 22-year-old who suffers from anxiety and intrusive thoughts and a passionate, liturgy-loving Episcopalian. I am partnered with the Durham Children’s Initiative, and really just lost in the tide of life; unsure where to go next. I am also a privileged white, cisgender, straight, male actively participating in the injust system in place while also trying to figure out how to break the system. Perhaps what has been the most evident to me in my first few months as a corp member is how little I know. Now that I am out of college I am realizing that my education has not prepared me well for the difficulties of life. No amount of preparation could possibly ease the anxiety of navigating life during such challenging times.
But, here I am.
In the wilderness of life, I’m trying to figure out what to do with this life. I have no answers to that question. What I have learned the past few months is that wilderness time is sacred. So, I am embracing this time of uncertainty in the holy wilderness of life.
Above all, my first few months at JSC have reinforced the notion that I am intimately connected with creation and with all of humanity. This love and connection sustains me and I know no matter what that love will have the final word. My hope is that I am open to what is next and that I never forget that I am deeply connected with all of creation which will always sustain me in the holy wilderness of life.